cozy crime

Scandal 1x01

2012-04-06T16:33:47Z

All right so I got back from bitchinparty this week and it was lots of fun and I owe a con report and I'll get around to it soon, I promise, but in the meantime I am sick (again) and doing unsmart things like watching XMFC for the first time (halfway through, DO NOT WANT IT), and SMART things like watching Scandal!

Here is what I posted on Tumblr re: Scandal last night. I find I feel the same way this morning. Brace yourself for a wee bit of capslock:

GUYS GUYS

DO YOU KNOW WHAT SCANDAL IS ABOUT

DO YOU

DO YOU?????

I WILL TELL YOU WHAT SCANDAL IS ABOUT

IT IS ABOUT KERRY WASHINGTON BEING QUEEN OF EVERYTHING AND BEING ABLE TO LOOK AT PEOPLE AND TRUST HER GUT INSTINCT TO FIND THE TRUTH

AND SHE HAS AN OFFICE OF INSANELY DEDICATED, INSANELY COMPETENT, INSANELY CODEPENDENT PEOPLE (ONE OF WHOM IS COLUMBUS SHORT OKAY) WHO THINK SHE HUNG THE MOON

(THEY ARE NOT WRONG)

SO BASICALLY SHE STOMPS AROUND IN VERY HIGH HEELS BEING A BADASS AND OCCASIONALLY DOING QUESTIONABLY MORAL THINGS

AND HER FOUND FAMILY TRUSTS HER

AND TOGETHER THEY MANIPULATE THE FABRIC OF REALITY

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL MY FEEEEEEEEEEEELINGS

I CANNOT

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS IS DOING TO ME???

CAN THEY RUN A HEIST WITH THE LEVERAGE CREW? CAN THEY MANAGE A CASE WITH THE LIE TO ME CREW? CAN THEY VISIT NEW YORK TO HANG WITH THE WHITE COLLAR CREW? CAN I GET A GLEE CROSSOVER WHEREIN MERCEDES AND KURT ARE HER NEW INTERNS?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

YOU WILL FIND NO RATIONALITY HERE

IT HAS GONE TO HANG OUT IN THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE KERRY WASHINGTON KEEPS HER FLAWS

*cough*

So that is how I am feeling about this show. I am happy to discuss it with you.

Also I love that any show you can think of involving a crossover would have to involve Olivia Pope going head-to-head with a white dude for who gets to be in charge. I'll tell you who gets to be in charge. OLIVIA FUCKING POPE THAT IS WHO.

Just guys do you realize. My bulletproof favorite tropes, spearheaded by KERRY WASHINGTON.

*_____________________________________________________*

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a thing i've been thinking about recently

2012-03-09T09:07:23Z

I can't judge if this should be flocked or public or what right now, so flocking just in case.(ETA 3/9/2012 at 11:55 AM: Thought about it, unflocked, let's see!) Here we go.

Disclaimer: I am exhausted and have been freaking out about all this in my head for like a month and I would like it if you would be nice to me in comments, please. I'm gonna request that if your first instinct is to fact-check me or semantics-check me about something I've said that you maybe do me a favor and repress that.

I would really really really really like to see more black performers in concert.

I had an AMAZING year in music last year, don't get me wrong. It was one of the best years of my life, actually. I went to what is actually an obscene number of concerts with people I love and like and respect, and I danced until I couldn't stand up anymore, and I sang until my voice was gone, and my My Chemical Romance feelings are out of control, guys. Just. They are THIS BIG.

And at the same time -- and this is lesson I keep learning over and over and over again -- the way I relate to music isn't colorblind, because there is nothing I relate to in a colorblind way. I feel like I have to keep relearning this with each section of my life, which is frustrating: it's okay that I want to live in a city with lots of PoC in it / live in a house where I'm not the only PoC / go to school or work in a job with lots of PoC / consume media with PoC as protagonists / consume media created by PoC.

It's frustrating that this isn't something I can teach myself once and then be done with it, I'm not going to lie to you. ( Read more... )

Ugh it is so late. I mean early. I mean, what.

Did any of that make sense?

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amazonziti @ 2012-03-02T03:22:00

2012-03-02T08:25:22Z

mrsronweasley is hosting a Love Meme. I'm replying to as many threads as I can, and my own thread is here. It's been a bit of a week -- a bit of a month, really -- and I'd love some love, y'all. ♥

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halloooooo

2012-02-01T06:12:24Z

HI GUYS

Um so it's been like a month since I posted? And the longer I wait the more I feel like it would be SUPER AWKWARD to post. Which is ridiculous, but such is my brain.

So this is me breaking the ice, popping in to say hi, I owe you all a bunch of catching up, don't think my winter radio silence means I don't love you because I doooooooooooooo hello, and also the Sam/Mercedes duet on Glee tonight made me cry and I had to tell SOMEONE.

Lots of things coming up! Not all that much has been going on! I hope you are all staying warm if you are in cold places. Like me. Damn it, Boston.

And, um, it's 1:00 AM so I am going to bed.

MOST USELESS POST AWARD GOES TO ZARA

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Glee college AU

2011-12-30T09:04:38Z

OKAY so recently I blathered at twentysomething about this Glee college AU I really really really want to write (or at least have appear on the interwebs as if my magic) and now I am thinking about it ALL THE TIME and I have a SOUNDTRACK for it, guys, so I think it's time to discuss it seriously.

At first I thought it was going to be Sam/Mercedes with past Quinn/Mercedes, but now I think the Sam/Mercedes is going to have to lead BACK into Quinn/Mercedes unless I can see my way to making it Sam/Quinn/Mercedes (HOLD ON I JUST BLEW MY OWN MIND HOW GREAT WOULD THAT BE) but the problem is, the Quinn in this fic is REALLY REALLY GAY. Really gay and really in love with Mercedes. So I can't at this point imagine her happily having sex with Sam? And I also can't think of her happily being in a relationship in which Mercedes sees other people. So we'll backburner the specifics.

HERE WE GO OKAY HERE IS THE SET-UP ( Oh dear this got SUPER LONG and SUPER DETAILED )

AND FINE YES I know I fall apart a little at the end there, but to be fair it has somehow become 3:00 AM when I was not looking and I have to get up for work tomorrow (today) and I am exhausted. But! There you have it! Basically the Glee college AU I would like to write, complete with soundtrack and plenty of wonderful experimental-queer angst. BRING IT.

*crazy eyes*

HI

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GLEE

2011-12-11T22:00:39Z

I would say something like MERCEDES BE MORE BEAUTIFUL I DARE YOU but that might cause a rip in the space-time continuum from SHEER AWESOMENESS so I will not. But I am thinking it.

In other news, my thread on the Secret Santa Style Holiday Love Meme is here. I would love any love you would like to throw my way, especially as I had a terrific time on my second date with the boy but am afraid I am in the Friend Zone. *sets the Friend Zone on fire*

Bah.

Annnnnnnd how are YOU?

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Glee 3x07, "I Kissed a Girl"

2011-11-30T08:25:58Z

I guess I should be really up front with you guys and tell you from the start that, beyond even my usual FAIRLY STRONG feelings about Glee, I am pretty much TOTALLY BIASED and OVERINVESTED and waaaaaaay OVERIDENTIFYING with Santana in this episode. This entry isn't so much a forum for discussion as a place for me to vent until I am DONE.

Some TL;DR context for you, if you're interested in the way I was feeling when I started watching (feel free to skip this bit and get to the liveblogging, haha): once upon a time -- three years ago -- ( I smacked a girl. )

... If you want fair and balanced when it comes to Glee, this is lol not the place for you. Warnings up front -- if you liked Finn or Rachel or the performance of "I Kissed a Girl", or if you think that Santana deserved anything she got, you will NOT like this.

Okay! On to ( my livetweet of the episode, with added commentary. )

*cough*

You may now talk amongst yourselves.

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bandom voice meme

2011-11-26T03:26:30Z

I just got back to Boston after a day and two halves home for Thanksgiving, and apparently instead of cleaning my room or doing laundry what my soul really wanted was to take another nap and then sprawl around in bed with my phone and ramble on for HALF AN HOUR about bandom. So here you have my bandom voice meme. You have no idea how difficult it is not to apologize for this, haha.

Ganked from rivers_bend, I answer the following questions with varying degrees of straightforwardness:

1. What's your username and is there a story behind it?
2. Where are you from and where do you live now?
3. What are you wearing? Yes, I am hitting on you.
4. How long have you been in bandom? How did you get into it?
5. Which bands are your favorites?
6. Which band members are your favorites?
7. Have you seen any of them in concert? Any fun stories or memories to share?
8. Do you have an OTP? What is it, and why do you love it?
9. What story do you wish someone would write?
10. Are you working on something for bandom right now? Tell us a little bit about it.
11. You've got fic open somewhere on your computer right now, don't lie. So go to one of your open tabs or word documents or whatever, and read us a couple of lines.
12. Say these words: Iero, haberdashery, LOLcat, flist, dirigible, halcyon, nemesis, ephemeral, languorous

Bandom Voice Meme by amazonziti

There you go. :D?

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ask me questions!

2011-11-16T05:54:44Z

It is a meme! Many of you have done this already! I hope you are not too burnt out! :D?

You can ask the not-so-happy questions if you want -- I feel okay answering all of them.

( Choose a number and ask me: )

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it's that time again!

2011-11-12T16:46:12Z

mrsronweasley has a rockin' love meme up at her journal. Latest to the party, but my thread is here.

IT'S BEEN A BIT OF A WEEK, DARLINGS.

Things what I ought to be posting about:

- I went to New Orleans with mistresscurvy, brooklinegirl, mrsronweasley, and philosiraptors! It was GRAND. I had a SMASHING TIME with some AWESOME PEOPLE. And then N and I went to D.C. to sprawl all over lilac_one! Also we met Patrick Stump. IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD WEEKEND, THINGS ALL TOLD.

And then I got home and collapsed with a stomach bug for like four days. WHATEVER I STILL REGRET NOTHING.

- Glee. Yep.

- 2 Broke Girls. I kind of like it! And I kind of despise myself for liking it! Let's discuss.

- Blah blah blah work things blah blah

- This amazing pair of shoes I dreamed up last night

- My poodle

- Adam Lambert killing it at the EMAs (that's my baby!)

- Other things I can't recall currently

- Responding to comments that I've owed for like a month

Oh yes! I am officially registered for bitchinparty! BRACE YOURSELVES, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN.

And how are you poodles doing?

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la la la update

2011-10-20T05:06:00Z

I'm listening to Soul Punk and I don't know, guys. ( I am so confused by Patrick Stump's music. )

In other news... Let's see, what's gone on recently?

Oh! I watched Thor. I'd been putting it off because frankly I watch enough things about White Men Doing Things (the most recent one being Mad Men, JFC) and didn't feel like another. I live-tweeted it, which I think deeply amused half my feed and deeply exasperated the other half.

( IN CONCLUSION: )

Other things that have gone on... *ponders*

ZACHARY QUINTO CAME OUT. In the best, most-hipster way possible, because he is Zachary Quinto. He just kind of dropped that little factoid in an interview, like it was something we all already knew, and if you weren't cool enough to know before everybody else knew then too sad for you. Hee. &Zach;

And then he posted this. He makes me SO HAPPY. Happiest tears, seriously.

I am making plans to get my ass to bitchinparty, I do not know about you. All the cool kids are going, come on. :DDDDD

I have been watching Mad Men. I am currently in the middle of S4, and merisunshine36, you were totally right, Don NARRATING HIS DIARY is hilarious and so completely unnecessary there are not words for it.

I have a lot of feelings about Mad Men -- some of which are self-hatred for watching and enjoying, because if there was ever a show about White Men Doing Things it is Mad Men -- but the good feelings can pretty much be summed up in JOAN JOAN JOAN JOAN JOAN. JOAN. JOAN. Also JOAN. Also PEGGY PEGGY HI PEGGY. And JOAN.

Other things have gone on that I would like to tell the Internet, but I really need to go to bed. More later! And replies to comments, because I owe so many ;___________;

HI GUYS

I LIKE YOU

HI

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national coming out day (fifteen minutes late, so sue me)

2011-10-12T05:15:47Z

So I am pretty sure all of you know this, but I'm queer. Hi!

( Rambling and a sort of half-assed coming-out story. For what it's worth. )

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gah

2011-09-24T22:20:32Z

I was talking with douchebag dudebro at work this afternoon about yesterday's idiot from Las Vegas, and the conversation took this turn:

DBDB: Well, there's really two kinds of people in the world. People like you and me, who wouldn't ever dream of making that much noise, and people like Mr. X, who have to announce how much money they have all the time.
Me: [dubiously] I guess so.
DBDB: It's like how there are two kinds of men. Men who would be horrified at the idea of dating a stripper, and men who'd think it's fucking great.
Me: ... What about guys who don't care?
DBDB: No such thing. You've got to care. You're either ashamed to tell your mother, or you want to tell fucking everybody.
Me: ...

I HATE HIM. I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH.

Do you see what he did there? How he not only implied that decent folk like he and I (AUGH NEVER PUT ME IN YOUR SECTION OF THE VENN DIAGRAM AGAIN, DOUCHEBAG DUDEBRO) would never ever date a lady who strips AND totally dismissed my opinion and laid down the law like a ~man who ~knows ~things AND implied that being a lady who strips is shameful AND that the only reason to date a lady who strips is for the street cred, but he ALSO equated dating a stripper to a (second-rate) status symbol like having a lot of money. He is so talented. I feel dirty.

And, like, why did the conversation have to go there? We were trundling along, happily making fun of people drunk on the power of having a credit card concierge, and then we took a sharp right turn into slut-shaming sex-policing misogyny. WHY? WHY?

I will admit that sometimes, with this guy, it's totes my fault. I'll bring up a topic of conversation that's bound to get iffy, whatever. I DID NOT SEE THIS ONE COMING. AT ALL. Except in the way that you kind of have to assume something like this is coming when you're talking to a douchebag dudebro.

Excuse me while I go try to douse the flames of my seething hatred.

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let's talk about media

2011-09-13T04:59:34Z

Let's talk about Suits again! I wanted to discuss something specific this time, though, so I hope you guys will bear with me. Sort of sorry for the lack of an LJ cut, but not really.

You may have noticed I have a habit of watching a show or a movie, imprinting on an interesting black female character, and then getting upset when canon or fandom treats her like she's stupid, like she's boring, like she's not allowed to have sex, or kills her off, sends her away, or ignores her altogether. Please see (for example; there are more) Cassie on Supernatural, Martha on Doctor Who, Cam on Bones, Uhura in STXI, Teyla on Stargate Atlantis, Mercedes on Glee and, most recently, Jessica on Suits.

My Suits feelings are pretty strong -- you may have noticed, I don't know. You totally don't have to agree with me about who's Most Important when you're watching the show; I know my complete lack of interest for Mike Ross except as a vehicle for me to get to Harvey Specter is a little bizarre to some of you. (Note: This is not a post where you comment and talk to me about Mike.) In the World According to Zara, the people I am interested in on Suits are, in order from zero to Queen of My Heart, Rachel, Donna, Harvey and Jessica. Which is pretty exciting for me, honestly. Three women! Just the one dude! And I can't find anything for sure about what race Meghan Markle is (ETA: via misspamela, Meghan Markle is biracial), but according to her IMDb she's played a lot of Latina characters in the past and she reads biracial to me (although yes I know the show has cast her as white [ETA: further thoughts on some of the complexities of this here]. Rachel Zane? Yep), so if we roll with that that's two women of color! One white woman! One white dude! THIS IS COOL, GUYS.

And -- and I just -- JESSICA. She's Gina Torres, okay, which automatically robs me of any and all objectivity, but she's also smart and badass and excellent at her job and really sexy and a woman who REFUSES to be bullied (take that, Louis, you dickwad), and I just. I can't. She's so fucking INTERESTING and so fucking HOT and I ship her with everybody, guys, but especially just give me the JESSICA HARVEY DONNA HARVEY DONNA JESSICA DONNA HARVEY JESSICA triumvirate of friendship and hotness and sheer unadulterated competency, okay, how amazing are they?

Part of me is SO BEWILDERED by my new obsession with het after so many years of faithfully queering the text and wanting some not-straight stories to be told. But it's not het stories I'm suddenly possessed by, it's stories about women. I'm still reading slash, of course, because those stories are still interesting and still relevant to my interests and still hot, but WOMEN GUYS. WOMEN ARE COOL. I read only books about girls until I was twelve and then I joined fandom and by the time I was fourteen I only wanted slash and now I'm twenty-four and I'm having some kind of lady-oriented renaissance. IT'S KIND OF GREAT.

Except most of fandom has lol not caught up with me? (OBVIOUSLY this is not about those of you that HAVE, hi, I love you guys ♥) Like, they write a lot of het over on FFN, but most of that is really not the kind of het I want to read. It's not just that I want stories about women, it's that I want stories about AWESOME women. I'm so fucking demanding. I want stories about women leading missions, women doing the rescuing, women discovering themselves, women with lives beyond who they're sleeping with or who has abused them, women with swords, women with guns, women with basses and guitars and drums, women in drag, women who are trans, women in power suits, women being geniuses, women owning companies, women who boss men around, women who make informed choices, women who aren't kinky, women who are kinky, women who are dominant, women who are submissive in bed but kick ass everywhere else, women who switch, women onstage, women who do magic, women who steal things, women who drive sexy cars, women with friends, women with lovers, women who don't need or want lovers but are still interesting, women who like sex, women who are really fucking good at sex, women who like men, women who like women, women who like men and women, women who don't like anybody, WOMEN. LET'S GO.

(This is probably an appropriate time to pimp womenlovefest. There you go. There's no Jessica page yet. I have no idea if this counts or what, because this post isn't just about Jessica, and also are there people who hate her out there? Don't link me if there are, because the thought makes me want to vomit.)

Anyway, so I have these feelings about women and these feelings about Suits and these feelings about the women on Suits (plus Harvey, excepting Jenny. Sorry Jenny), and I go into Suits fandom with my arms open, ready to READ THINGS, ready to BRAINSTORM, kind of terrified to WRITE THINGS but I think I'll do it anyway, and there are just... crickets.

Like. Okay. Not just crickets. arsenicjade has written a Jessica/Mike kinkfic (Positive Reinforcement) and a Jessica/Harvey/Mike sequel (Sthenolagnia), and there are a couple of <1k Jessica-oriented fics on the AO3, and some rustlings of Donna/Harvey (which I don't ship, exactly? I mean, on its own. Without Jessica. But whatever, go for it) on the suitsmeme, but for the most part it's all Mike/Harvey all over the place, and most of it isn't even about Harvey, it's all woobie!Mike all the time. Actually the trope that annoys me the MOST is Mike/Harvey through Donna's POV. Or Jessica's. I AM SURE THEY HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO. LIKE EACH OTHER. OR SNATCHING UP HARVEY TO SHARE BETWEEN THEM. OR GETTING LUNCH. IDK.

And, like, I know fandom's obsession with twinky straight white boys is not new? But it is so PROFOUNDLY DISAPPOINTING to me in this particular instance I completely lose all coherency. It's not that Patrick Adams is not adorbs -- I feel like I could break him across my knee like a twig, and not in an intriguing Mikeyway way, but I can dig it when the fic is good, and also have you seen this picture of him napping with Gabriel Macht's daughter? You will die -- but Patrick Adams is NOTHING to me when Gina Torres is in the room. GINA! TORRES!

This thing I do where I care about interesting black women, okay. It's not a whim. It's not something I do to be ~progressive or because I would like to have something new to shout about. Hello, I have plenty to shout about. It's because a) interesting characters are interesting, fuck you and b) because I am black and a woman and it's nice to see a story about a black woman treated as important and interesting (and fun and sexy and all the rest of it) and I like it when my media isn't monochromatic, God damn it. I like not being erased from the stories I listen to and watch and read and write. I like thinking that if such a story were about me, it would matter to somebody, and that people can find black women sexy without having some kind of a creepy fetish. All those books about women I was reading before I got into fandom? If they weren't written by Octavia Butler or Laurence Yep, they were about white women. I bet you can name all the books you've read that are about kickass black women (fewer if the story isn't centered around race), and good for you that you can name some, but it's because there AREN'T THAT MANY.

Which kind of brings me to the reason I started writing this post in the first place, which is that several of y'all have laughed or gotten sarcastic with me about my Suits thing. In the "What did you expect?" kind of way, or the "You always do this" kind of way. And, you know, both things are true -- it was unrealistic of me to expect a sudden fandom revolution of people suddenly prioritizing women of color over white boys, and I do always do this -- but at the same time, um. That kind of sucks. I don't want to laugh about it. And when you're headshaking at me for falling into this trap again, ha-ha, what do you think I should be doing instead?

Should I stop looking for women of color in my media and falling in love with them and building up hope for fandom? Should I resign myself to never getting to read 40k words about Jessica? Because any other fandom I saunter into, if the people I want to read about are men, I'll find a decent 40k about them somewhere, or I'll come up with a dozen plotbunnies and people will grab them up. If I had a Mike/Harvey plotbunny somebody might have picked it up by now, but I have Jessica/Harvey coming out my ears and none of my suitsmeme prompts have been claimed, and you know I rock at prompts. Will it have to be me who writes all the stories about Jessica? Because I'll do it if I have to, mistresscurvy and I just posted 40k+ words about kickass bandom women and dudes in a queer foursome, so clearly I am capable (if terrible at working to a deadline, sorry, bb!). But I don't want to do it alone, and I want to get to read about her too, and I want people to get fucking EXCITED with me, because that is what fandom is for. Should I only watch for and read and write about white dudes? Should I shut up and be grateful for the inadequate screentime (and often shitty representation) that women of color do get?

Just -- it's not an accusation, okay, if you and I have had the "What did you expect?" or the "You always do this, ha ha" conversations. It's not specifically about ~you, because I've had this conversation with a bunch of people, and it's okay that you didn't know it upset me, because I kind of didn't know at first and I totally participated. But can we stop scolding me or pitying me or making fun of me for wanting more and better, please? Because that sucks.

And for everybody else, I don't know. If you're a writer and you feel like writing for Suits and you have a choice between an easy Mike/Harvey idea that people will definitely like and will get you lots of readership and a cool Jessica(/anybody) idea that people might not read because it's het, maybe take a chance on the Jessica story. Please. (This pretty much applies to every fandom ever though. Remember when slash was ~subversive? Remember when you were supposed to warn for it?) And if you're not in Suits fandom yet -- the show is pretty awesome, okay, I may have mentioned Gina Torres is in it, and she's not a protagonist but she does get good screentime and an empathetic backstory and she does kick ass and take names. And it's a funny show, if wildly unrealistic about the law. Also JESSICA HARVEY DONNA. So.

I don't know, that's all. I just needed to get that out there. There's a Jessica/Harvey origins story I really want to write where she's a bb partner at the firm and she's just bought her first house (in lol Brooklyn, one of those old mansions in Clinton Hill, I have no shame) and for ~appearances' sake she can't take the train into Manhattan to work anymore, so she leases a car and driver and Harvey is her driver. We'll see.

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Let the Compass Point You Home by amazonziti and mistresscurvy

2011-09-12T06:23:08Z

Title: Let the Compass Point You Home
Authors: amazonziti and mistresscurvy
Bands: My Chemical Romance and Mindless Self Indulgence
Pairings: Frank/Gerard, Frank/Jamia, Jamia/Lindsey, Gerard/Lindsey
Word Count: ~43,000
Rating/Warnings: NC-17. Contains sex slavery, although all listed pairings are consensual relationships. Contains references to off-screen sexual assault in the context of sex slavery; references to off-screen physical assault in the context of sex slavery; off-screen kidnapping; stress and emotional disturbance related to sex slavery.

Summary: When Frank is taken by slave raiders, Jamia and Lindsey work together to find him and buy him back. After months of searching, they finally locate him, but their lives are complicated by his attachment to a fellow slave he can’t leave behind. Suddenly Jamia finds herself the owner of her husband, and Lindsey the owner of a man whom she’s never met before and who has no reason to trust her--and who has a secret of his own. Can the four of them learn to trust each other enough to put the past to rest and help Gerard find what he’s lost?

Let the Compass Point You Home (on AO3)

Bonus Tracks/Enhanced Content

Fanmix(es):
Fanmix by vixalicious

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OH MY GOD

2011-09-08T21:25:30Z

GUYS

GUYS

SOMETIMES I HAVE IDEAS AND THEY ARE SO RIDICULOUS I CAN'T HELP BUT YELL THEM AT PEOPLE SO BEAR WITH ME OKAY

Okay. Okay. Tangled/Bandom fusion.

Gerard is Rapunzel. Lyn-Z is Eugene.

Mikey is Pascal. (TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE MOST PERFECT THING YOU'VE EVER HEARD.) Frankie is Maximus the Improbable Horse. (ALSO FUCKING PERFECT. ESPECIALLY IF EVEN AS A HORSE HE IS POCKET-SIZED.) Ray is the barbarian with a hook for a hand who just wants to be a classical guitarist, okay, nobody understands his feelings. (HOW COULD IT BE BETTER? NO, REALLY?)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand GO!

(Please don't leave me alone in my insanity, I am serious.)

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infodump

2011-09-07T15:28:00Z

Things I intend to post about, sometime soon:

- The Panic! in Central Park Concert
- Having a kickass birthday thanks to YOU KIDS (I'm 24! \o/)
- My overwhelming FEELINGS about fandom and how it's improved my life over the past year
- Freaking out over BBB
- Having just created an OKCupid profile and freaking out about that
- Suddenly feeling like I have ~goals for next year, WTAF where did that come from
- Suits (yep)
- Having thought about it, why I don't feel like laughing about my unending wishes for Suits to revolve around Gina Torres
- Lots of story ideas
- Michael fucking Pedicone (although maybe not, y'all seem to have covered that pretty well)
- Other stuff I can't remember right now
- Probably porn

I don't have the time for all of that right now since I have to run and get ready for work, but I also don't want to get out of the quasi-habit of posting semi-regularly just because I don't have TIME to say ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE, so, hi. These are the things on my mind! Comment on any of them! Or on something else! Or just drop in to say HAY GURRRRL.

HAY GURL!

♥

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apocafic wow

2011-09-03T06:39:43Z

So, can we combine the following into one brilliant insane AU? How could we even make that happen?

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ROLL CALL

2011-08-31T15:03:01Z

PANIC! AT THE DISCO IN CENTRAL PARK

WITH NEON TREES

AND THE BLACK CARDS

WHO WILL BE THERE?

(... she asked, sheepishly, the day before the show)

I know a LOT of y'all who are coming, but even if you know I know, comment anyway so I can cackle gleefully at how many of you I get? :D?

I have an extra ticket, if anyone needs one, or if you know someone who does! I got a little overexcited back when tickets came out and bought four, haha. Comment here, or email me, or drop me a line on Twitter. I'd like $36.00 for it, which is what I paid for it, but if you can't manage that, make your best offer and we'll see. :)

Also I will be 24 on Saturday! Dear Brendon Urie, seeing as it is almost my birthday, I would appreciate it if you would strip onstage (again) tomorrow. Love, me.

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i'm with yoouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

2011-08-30T04:53:51Z

THE ANON (OR NOT) LOVE MEME

My thread is here. Indulge me?

In Suits news, I have left... four? five? Jessica-centric prompts on the suitsmeme, and I think eloiserummaging left one or two, but guys, WE CANNOT DO THIS ALONE. The meme is, oh, 95% Mike/Harvey, and, like, they're cute and everything (and yes, I'm reading the fic), but there is more to this fandom than two straight white boys, only one of whom can actually dress himself. JESSICA. RACHEL. DONNA. Can we bring the ladies to the yard, please?

In other news, this:

Rihanna/Avril Lavigne. Discuss.

Other things we can talk about: Rihanna/Nicki Minaj (that one is for fifteendozentimes). Rihanna/Beyonce/Jay-Z. Other 'ships with Rihanna in them. Terrific ladies being terrific. Rihanna being fucking adorable.

Like, I... don't even know that much about her? But I love how low she sings in this song and her accent and how bright her smile is and how cute she is in those ridiculous '50s shorts and a bikini top, and just. \o/ Rihanna happiness. Today is Rihanna Appreciation Day. \o/

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i lead a gina torres appreciation life

2011-08-26T05:02:20Z

So. Suits.

I feel bad for Mike, given how much I'm just handwaving him at this point. (Except. "All you have to do is tap out," Harvey? REALLY?) But COME ON, guys, JESSICA.

Flawless human.

Jessica/Harvey. GIVE IT TO ME.

I have also been thinking of how I'd cross over or fuse Suits with various other fandoms and the problem is I kind of cast everyone but Mike and then I don't care where he goes because JESSICA and HARVEY.

Star Trek XI AU, Jessica is Pike and Harvey is Kirk, UNF.

Stargate Atlantis AU, Jessica is Elizabeth and Harvey is John, except with sex (He IS HER RIGHT HAND, OH MY GOD)(Donna is Lorne \o/).

In Hogwarts she'd be a year or two ahead of him in Slytherin until they both come back to work there as Professors of Awesome.

Oooh, let's get really mindbendy -- in a Firefly AU she'd be Mal and he'd be Zoe, except with sex. Or if you MUST do without, I guess Mike could be Wash. So long as Harvey calls Jessica "sir".

Weirdly, I was totally thinking I'd like a sort of warped Enchanted Forest Chronicles AU, wherein Jessica is King of the Dragons and Harvey is, I don't know, the head of her guard or something. Mike could be the runty prince trying to subvert gender norms by volunteering to work for a dragon, which is typically a princess's job. Ahahahaha. WHY.

In a Leverage AU, Jessica would be Nate without the alcoholism and Harvey would be Sophie.

I... can't even process what a Buffy AU would look like, because it really would have to be an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE as opposed to a replace-each-role fusion, but mmmmm Jessica as a retired Slayer who's now head of the Watchers Council with Harvey as her protege.

JESSICA/HARVEY

!

Look, if you have other thoughts about Suits I will totally discuss them with you. HELP TALK ME DOWN OH MY GOD.

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lalalala

2011-08-23T15:29:12Z

I want a fic in which Jessica steps in to mentor Michael / protect him from Louis while Harvey is, IDK, away on a trip for a week or two. It doesn't have to be Jessica/Michael, because I... am pretty sure she would crush him by accident, given that Jessica is to Harvey what Harvey is to Michael and Harvey almost crushes Michael by accident. But Jessica being badass and competent? And stepping in just in the nick of time when Louis is about to do something nefarious and borderline abusive? Jessica taking care of Michael because Michael is Harvey's and Harvey is Jessica's? Michael being all O__________o at Jessica, all YOU ARE AMAZING BUT I AM AFRAID TO MAKE EYE CONTACT om nom nom. Yes.

SUITS \o/

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SUITS

2011-08-23T00:56:57Z

I'm posting this separately because posting about threesomes in the same entry as an anecdote about my mom is weird. I trust you understand.

OKAY SO SUITS LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

I would like to talk about a) Gina Torres, b) Gina Torres, and c) Gina Torres. There may be some other people on the show, IDK.

No but for serious, can we discuss how Jessica DISCOVERED Harvey and NURTURED him and MOLDED him and PUT HIM THROUGH LAW SCHOOL and now he RULES ALONGSIDE HER? ('Alongside' meaning, you know, a step or two down, directly behind her right shoulder. Possibly wearing a collar. AS IT SHOULD BE.)

I'm reading most of this show as:

Michael is in a dysfunctional threesome with Jenny and Trevor which mostly involves Michael and Jenny being in love with Trevor, who is a selfish douchebag. Trevor gets Michael in trouble, not on purpose, but because he is, as previously mentioned, a selfish douchebag. Harvey steps in and rescues Michael and becomes Michael's dom (but doesn't stop subbing for Jessica, because who would?). Louis tries to get in on that, but fails at life (that actor is second only to Mitch Pileggi at mincing like a lady while being menacing and more than a little creepy). Michael's devotion to Harvey is no less for his being smitten with Rachel, who is fucking badass. Other stuff happens, law things, I don't know. Everyone wears suits and looks very attractive. Lather, rinse, repeat.

You know what would be great? Slavefic. Or for all of this to be happening in space. SUITS SLAVEFIC ON A SPACESHIP. Can we make that happen?

Or, you know, your interpretation might be different than mine. I'm willing to be open-minded.

My life is now complicated by NEEDS MORE GINA TORRES ICONS. That backless dress she wore in the first episode? All the tailored pantsuits? The LOUBOUTINS? *grabby hands*

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on words

2011-08-19T06:25:55Z

I doubt I'm going to say anything here that most of my flist doesn't already know and/or agree with, but this is actually just an open letter to this person because I can't fit all the things I actually feel like saying into the "ask" box on Tumblr.

Warning up front, because I know I'd want on: I'll be using slurs in this post because those are the words I'm talking about today. If my discussing racial and homophobic slurs is a thing that's going to make you unhappy, then pass me on by, no harm, no foul. I just really hate doing the one-letter-followed-by-five-stars thing. I still know what words they are! I still feel the same about them! Whatever.

Here we go, then.

( Dear kid on Tumblr I don't know: )

In other news, people of LJ and DW, this is... not how I was intending to break my, what, three-month-long hiatus from the blogosphere? Something more upbeat next, I think. There's plenty of good things happening in my life too that are WAY more important than some kid on Tumblr without proper home training. More on all of it soon.

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i could use some extra lovin' today

2011-05-12T21:53:57Z

I hope people aren't terrifically sick of seeing this on their flists. ♥ anyway.

THE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL MEME

My thread is here.

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